HackGIFT RETURN
by TRUE Unknown
Summary: Oh NO! It's the return of GIFT! PART 2! The World is going nuts! Coed bathing in the Twilight Hot Springs, Tsukasa raises a Grunty of her own, and Ginkan does something stoopid! Rated for some language and humorous death! Fate unknown!
1. Ep 1: Beginning

.Hack//GIFT RETURN

Disclaimer: I do not own .Hack (whether it is manga, game, or animes) or the notoriously funny .Hack//GIFT. Sadly, these are all Bandai-owned.

Now shut up and enjoy my little 'GIFT' fanfic series!

Here, like in GIFT, everyone might/will be OOC, so bear with that. And try to picture everyone looking like themselves instead of their GIFT personas.

--

[Delta Server Root Town Mac Anu; here, we see Orca and Balmung walking, simply talking as if they were long-time chums.]

Orca [as if he just finished talking about something]: And that's how you beat level 4 with Alkaiser!

Balmung [interested]: Interesting. But, can I ask you something?

Orca: Go ahead, fellow Descendant of Fianna!

Balmung: Well, obviously, you know Kite more than I do since you both go to the same school. What's he really like?

Orca: Well, I can simply say that he's just a normal boy, like myself, who probably wants to buy lots of explicit magazines and look at naked ladies.

Balmung: I see. [Double take] NANI!?

Orca: Yeah, but he's a hell of a guy too.

Balmung: Well, I figured that after he saved 'The World' from those Phases.

Orca [taken back]: I'm sorry… did you just INSULT ME?

Balmung: NANI!?

Orca: You have insulted my intelligence! I no stoop! Now, Balmung of the Azure Sky, you will do battle with Orca of the Azure Sea!

Balmung: I'd love to take you up on that honorific deal, but you also seem to forget, that player killing (PK) is no longer allowed!

Lios [appearing out of nowhere]: I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT, IN THE WORLD VER. 5.3, PLAYER KILLING WILL NOW BE ALLOWED! [Disappears]

[Both Balmung and Orca look at each other; Orca taunts Balmung with his hand, in a 'come and get me style']

Balmung [acting like some gruff ass]: BRING IT ON!!

--

Nuke Usagimaru [looking down at the water; contemplating]: How can I come up with good jokes? I NEED TO FIND INSPIRATION!

A passerby: Shut up you moron! [Pushes Nuke in the water]

Nuke Usagimaru: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--[Splash]

[Meanwhile, a little down the river]

Gardenia [with a fishing pole, sitting on a ledge]: I don't see what that idiot Sanjuro sees in fishing in a digital world. Wish I was looking at some flowers... mmm... flowers... [Her fishing line takes a pull] HEY! A bite! [Pulls out Nuke Usagimaru with the hook right in his mouth]

Nuke Usagimaru [weakly, since, well, he has a hook in his mouth]: Uh, guess I'm not your 'catch of the day'. lol

Gardenia [annoyed]: Ugh, I'm not eating that fish. [Gives the rod a mighty toss and throws Nuke Usagimaru into the wall]

--

[The Chaos Gate of Mac Anu; Kite has immediately warped himself into 'The World']

Kite [depressed]: Everywhere I go, repetition is always happening. [Looks one way] Moonstone is shyly but surely trying to get fresh with Aquamarine; [looks another way] BlackRose is arguing with her little brother Kazu about his 'logging on into The World' rights; [looks ahead of himself] And ever since Player Killing became legal again, Balmung and Orca are having constant duels with each other.

[Elsewhere, Sora cries because he banged his knee very badly in the real world]

Sora [crying]: MOMMY!!

[Now back to Kite]

Kite: I also suspect that Natsume is stalking me... [Turns around quickly; sees nothing] But I think that's just me. But there's only one thing that I **know** isn't predictable;

Mistral [Logging in; giddy]: KITE!! [Tackles Kite from behind]

Kite: And that's Mistral-chan. So how are you and your baby?

Mistral: Oh my little boy is doing alright! He actually pulled off his first steps! It was SOOOOOOOO KAWAII!!

Kite [sweat drop]: I see... Don't have to over-emphasize that.

Mistral: Right! Sorry about that! [Hands behind her head] So did anything interesting happen while I was gone during the last few days?

Kite: Well, aside from legalizing Player Killing, Balmung and Orca getting at each other's throats, and BlackRose and Kazu about to maim each other with simple and weak techniques alike--

BlackRose and Kazu [out of nowhere]: WHAT!?

Kite: --Nothing really happened.

Mistral: Hmm... We could go to a field, but all of the people that are now the legendary '.Hackers' are all Level 99!

Lios [appearing behind them]: Well, I guess you're all in luck then! The next installment of 'The World' will allow people to reach Level 200! And to accommodate this, [A bright flash surrounds the entire Delta Server] I have now just created the 'GIFT' Server.

Kite: How come you're only telling just us of this?

Lios: Well, I am grateful to you for returning The World back to normality. And I think you '.Hackers' are very deserving to be the first ones to enter the GIFT Server. Sincerely, Lios the Pig-head… [Ignores the fact that he called himself pig-head and gates out] Why did I end it in letter-box format?

--

Kite [in an e-mail to his fellow '.Hackers']: So Lios has spoken to me about letting us, the famous .Hackers, be the first to try out this new 'GIFT Server'. Meet you guys at the GIFT Server in the morning!

[Kite finishes the message, and now begins to type to all of the other people's in the 'To' section (Mistral, BlackRose, Natsume, Gardenia, Ryoko, Rachel, Nuke, Sanjuro, Wiseman, Moonstone, Piros, Marlo, and Balmung)]

Kite: Wow, that's a lot of .Hackers… [Remembers something] Wait, I forgot about Mia and Elk! Nah, they weren't there when I beat Corbenik.

--

[On the bridge overlooking the canal in Mac Anu; here we see Subaru, Ginkan/Silver Knight, and Crim just looking out]

Ginkan: What do you suppose the future will hold for 'The World'?

Crim [calm]: Hmm… that's a good question. But I must ask; why do you put f***ing quotation marks when you say The World?

Ginkan: It is proper.

Crim: Well **that** I can respect.

Subaru: Player killing has been legalized again as I heard. Will an organization be needed to monitor and control all the random violence?

[As if on cue, behind them, Orca and Balmung are chasing each other clashing their swords in a dramatic style, leaves blowing in the dramatic wind]

Orca: You have offended me! Now you must pay!

Balmung: Indeed! THIS BATTLE IS FOR HONOR!

[They run off still in battle with each other]

Ginkan: … Probably not.

Subaru: But then, what will be of me?

Crim: What are you talking about? You can just be a normal player like the rest of us! 

Ginkan: Indeed. To be honest, level 15 is not that great of a level nowadays, Subaru-sama.

Subaru: If I do that, I'll just end up like some loser who has nothing better to do than to play games. 

Ginkan: Subaru-sama…

Subaru [smiling evilly]: At least, I'm not some 30-something loser who still works in a video store, wasting his life away with those other people.

Ginkan [insulted]: IS THAT SO!? WELL, AT LEAST **I'M** NOT THE ONE WHO IS STRAPPED TO A WHEELCHAIR FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE!

[Subaru gasps in shock because he knew about her real-life condition]

Crim [acting stupid]: Dun dun dun… [He gets hit by a Ruem Tornado; looks at his own body] Well, that was stupid of me… [Gets his upper body divided in half from his lower body]

Subaru [demonic Subaru voice]: You have no right to point out my weakness… NOW YOU DIE, GINKAN! AXEL PAIN!

[The former head of the Crimson Knights now cleaves Ginkan down the middle of his body, and into two nice strips]

Ginkan: I'll just come back stronger… [Body disappears]

--

[In the newly made GIFT Server Root Town of 'Bandai Sowa'; the .Hackers appear; everywhere they see a futuristic post-modern setting, contrasting their 'semi-medieval'-ish characters]

Piros: Hark! This is paradise!

Terajima Ryoko: Indeed it is. This is a very fun place!

Gardenia: You just got here. [Mutters to herself] Bitch.

Nuke Usagimaru [happiness in eyes]: Maybe this place will inspire me with ideas for my shtick!

Natsume: Maybe Kite will come here more often! AND THAT'S WHEN I'LL MAKE HIM MINE!

Moonstone [looking at Natsume strangely]: ... You're scaring me, young Natsume...

Wiseman: Hmm... Very nice... I managed to pull out a Lucemon card... Oh, and this server looks very modern and interested. *interesting

Mistral: Hehe... Wiseman messed up his speech! =P

Rachel: Gee, do you think a lot of people will come here? I was hoping of making some money...

Marlo: This is crazy! You're all crazy! I'm gonna get a drink and f*** a stripper! [Looks around] But this **is** a very appealing Root Town.

Sanjuro: I agree!

[...]

[...]

Kite: Where are BlackRose and Balmung?

Marlo: Forget about those losers!

Piros: Let us begin enjoying this new server and all its wonders, he of fair eyes!

Gardenia: Yes, before the 'normies' come and swarm all over the server.

Mistral: I wanna make a party with Kite! Let's check out some fields! Onegai!

Sanjuro: Heh. Everyone wants to be with Kite.

Natsume [angry]: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KITE!?

Terajima Ryoko: Please Natsume-san, you're scaring me...

Nuke Usagimaru: Ooh! I got one! I GOT ONE! Ahem... What do you call a Twin Blade who begins to start stalking the leader of the now famous .Hackers?

Moonstone [eager and giddy]: Ooh! Say!

Natsume [vein in forehead]: Don't... you dare... finish that--

Nuke Usagimaru: You call her Natsume! lol

Everyone else: lol

--

[And now... WHAT THE!?]

A mysterious person: And now you died... Ta... [Bout to log out] Ta! [Logs out]

BT [as she is dying]: I have to start building myself up... And now I'll be in Game Over unless someone comes by and casts Rip Maen on me.

[Who should walk by but BlackRose and Kazu]

Kazu: Wow! I leveled up about 10 times!

BlackRose: Yeah, and you **died** around 5 times. 

Kazu: Arigatou, Onei-chan! For helping me level up and reviving me when I died.

BlackRose [rubs his hair like a little puppy]: No problem, Kazu. Using Rip Maen is a lot less costly than using Resurrect--

BT's Ghost: HELP ME! PLEASE REVIVE ME!

Kazu: Onei-chan, we should revive her! 

BlackRose: I'd love to, Ototo-chan (little brother), really, I do; it's just that she's not in our party!

BT's Ghost: THEN PUT ME IN YOUR PARTY!

BlackRose: I don't have you in my member address list.

BT's Ghost: … I'll take the f***ing Game Over… [Body disappears]

BlackRose: I just hate people who just beg for things like reviving or new items.

Kazu: That's what Kite told me about you, Onei-chan!

BlackRose [even larger vein]: Oh _did he now_? [Notices something on her screen] Ooh, I got mail!

--

[Orca and Balmung are breathing heavily, in the Lambda Server of Carmina Gadelica, after tiring their sprites in an exhausting chain of duels]

Orca [heavy]: Well, this looks like three that I won…

Balmung [likewise]: …To three that I've won.

[Wind blowing past once more]

Orca: This is actually sad on your part, since I'm still Level 70-ish, while you're Level 99.

Balmung: Hey, wait a minute… IT IS! I don't believe this! You should be trembling before me! And I will prove this! 

Orca [readying his weapon]: Duel seven?

Balmung: Hold on! I'll BRB; I got some e-mail. Will you wait for me?

Orca [kind and giddy; sheathes sword]: Sure man!

[Balmung temporarily logs out; Orca just sits down, legs crossed, seeming bored. Two minutes later, Balmung comes back on]

Orca: Who was it from?

Balmung: It was from Kite. He said that I'm cordially invited to the new 'GIFT' Server before it is open to the public.

Orca: Because you were one of those '.Hackers'?

Balmung: Bingo. What say we just forget about our duels for now, and just head to the GIFT Server? I believe I can still bring you if you're in my party.

Orca: Ooh! Will you do that for me, your fellow Descendant of Fianna?

Balmung [acting like a home-boy]: F*** yeah, mah homie! Let's go!

Orca: Wait!

Balmung: What?

Orca: This… '**GIFT**' server… the name sounds like that 'GIFT' incident we had some time ago.

Balmung: Hey! Our sprites aren't messed up this time!

[Orca and Balmung warp to the GIFT Server]

--

Maybe I'll try something funnier next time! And I might just include Mia and Elk too! 

lol

COMMERCIAL BREAK


	2. Ep 2: Twilight Shenanigans

.Hack//GIFT RETURN

Disclaimer: I do not own .Hack (whether it is manga, game, or animes) or the notoriously funny .Hack//GIFT. Sadly, these are all Bandai-owned.

Now shut up and enjoy my little 'GIFT' fanfic series!

--

[GIFT Bursting Passed Over Aqua Field; the area all around the party of Kite, Mistral, and Sanjuro happens to be covered in nothing but, well, waist-high Ocean]

Mistral: I know that a part of this field is called 'Aqua Field', but this is ridiculous! =P

Kite: Add to the fact that the monsters are DESTROYING US! 

Sanjuro: Hai. But I also thought that every server's Bursting Passed Over Aqua Field was the lowest level; this area was Level 120!

Kite: That, and the fact that even with a Fairy's Orb, we can't see the magic portals!

[BATTLE ON! A Raper Shark Man {A shark-man} (2199 HP; Water-element; Fire Resistant) pops out of the water]

Kite: IIE! NOT ANOTHER ONE!

Sanjuro: And the sad thing, I have to say, is that this is probably a small-class enemy.

Mistral [scared, shaking like a scared onna (wife) no pun intended]: Meaning?

Sanjuro: There are a lot bigger yaro (bastards) down there.

[The Raper Shark Man starts casting OrRue Rom, trying to suffocate the three of them in an aquatic typhoon, the water damage removing about 900 HP in total.]

Kite [slashing the creature]: This is hard! With a Fire Resistance, my Prepare To Die is useless! [Switches to Sin Of Hades] EVIL TWIN!

Sanjuro [slashing the creature as well]: And I can't use Karin or Garekka! [Uses one of his skills] UNYO NO TACHI!

Mistral: And I'll do the healing! PHAL REPTH!

[After a good minute or two of this strategy... the Raper Shark Man dies, giving the three of them 1000 EXP, meaning immediate level ups; BATTLE OFF]

Sanjuro: I think we're near the dungeon...

Mistral: My SP's drained...

Kite: Don't worry, I'll heal then. PHAL REPTH!

[After walking for a little bit, they happen upon... what looks like the open entrance to a dungeon]

Sanjuro: I think we're gonna have to go underwater. How will **that** work?

--

[In the GIFT Server Bandai Sowa, a female Heavy Blade and her little Wavemaster brother have just gated into the town]

Kazu [cupping hands to his mouth]: Hello? Is anyone here?

BlackRose: I'm betting everyone went to check out a field or two in this place. So really, we have this whole server to ourselves.

Kazu: I don't know about this, Onei-chan. It feels like an unsettling presence is here.

BlackRose [boasting, which she often does]: Don't worry, Kazu. With your big sister, one of the legendary '.Hackers' around, nothing should worry you!

Kazu [inspired]: WOW, YOU'RE SO COOL, ONEI-CHAN!

[A weakened Nega Swallower {A sasquatch-looking creature} (30/5679 HP; Thunder-element; Dark Resistant) appears in front of them]

BlackRose [scared like a sissy girl]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! [Randomly swings her sword around] GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! WHERE DID IT COME FROM!?

Kazu: RUE ROM!

[The weak water spell manages to finish off the last remaining HPs of the monster; they both got 1300 EXP, gaining level ups in the process]

BlackRose [a little edgy]: Why… did a monster appear in the Server Town!?

[The party of Piros, Nuke, and Moonstone appears in front of them]

Moonstone: Are you okay?

Piros: You must be wondering why the monster attacked you two! Well you see, one of the catches about the Gift Server is that if you Gate Out of the field--

Nuke Usagimaru [interrupting for a brief second]: Which, might I add, we went to the Level 145 field 'GIFT Floating Orange Remnant'.

Moonstone: Plain field. No element.

Piros [vein in his Piros-haircut]: GUYS, SHUT UP! Anyway, if a monster is chasing you when you gate out, it'll follow you into town! Keep this information strong and true, young eyes!

Moonstone: … Who did you refer that to?

Nuke Usagimaru: OOH! OOH! I got a good joke that'll lighten the mood!

Piros: Do tell, he of pink spikes!

Kazu: His hair's really not that pink.

Nuke Usagimaru: What do Viagra and a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner have in common? [No one asks] They both give you an upright, in the palm of your hand! [Nuke starts laughing uncontrollably] ROTFLMAO!!

Moonstone [starts giggling slightly]: Hehe, I just got it.

[Two minutes later, Nuke is seen soaring at great velocities into the sky]

Nuke Usagimaru [screaming]: OKAY, I NEED TO WORK ON MY SHTICK! HOMMINA HOMMINA HOMMINA!! [Ding]

[BlackRose smiles as she used her Forsaken Light to club Nuke into the digital stratosphere]

Moonstone: Hey kid, what happen do you have?

Kazu [examines his own weapon]: It's a Dark History.

Moonstone [looks at the boy]: And you're only Level 31? You're gonna need a strong party if you **WANT** to live. Here. [Gives the boy an item]

Kazu: Whoa! Are you sure I can have? Arigatou!

[Kazu receives Nautilus Staff]

BlackRose: So how powerful are these monsters?

Piros: They were giving us Level 99 guys a hard time! Even though every fight increased our levels by 1! We're 110 now, and I'm still scared to go in without a total of three people in my party! 

Moonstone: Oh! Aquamarine's on! See you next time, Piros. [He removes himself from Piros's party and heads to the Chaos Gate]

--

[In Theta Server Root Town Dun Loireag; Tsukasa and Mimiru walk towards the Grunty Ranch]

Tsukasa [uneasiness]: Wait... why are we here, Mimiru? You know how I feel about Grunties ever since [darker tone than usual] the incident...

Mimiru: C'mon Tsu-chan! [pokes him]  This time, you can raise your own! Raising a Grunty might just build up your attitude in this life!

Tsukasa: I don't want to... 

Mimiru: DAMMIT, TSUKASA! You're gonna do this, otherwise I'm gonna find out where you live, and kick your ass! [stops Tsukasa from speaking] And don't give me that 'I can't log out' crap, because I know now that you can!

Tsukasa [defeated]: Fine, you crazy bitch! I'll make my own damn Grunty!

Mimiru: That's better!

[Tsukasa approaches the Baby Grunty]

Baby Grunty [looks at Tsukasa; scans the Wavemaster thoroughly]: Mommy, I'm hungry, oink!

Mimiru [squatting]: Aww, isn't that adorable? It thinks you're a girl, Tsukasa.

Tsukasa: I am a girl. 

Mimiru [surprised]: WHAT!? You never told me that! [giddy] Now we can talk about girl stuff and hang at the mall!

Tsukasa [being her usual 'bitch' self]: I don't wanna hang at the mall. 

Baby Grunty: I'm hungry, oink!

Tsukasa [emotionless; pulls out 19 Cordyceps]: Here you go, little guy.

Cordycep #5: No!

Cordycep #9: NOOOO!!

Cordycep #17: By Morganna, no!

[The Baby Grunty eats said 19 Cordyceps, and after it eats them all (bloody screams and all) it becomes a Kid Grunty]

Mimiru [disgusted]: I wish they didn't scream...

--

[Kite, Sanjuro, and Mistral are now traversing the underwater dungeon]

Kite: Wow, I'm surprised we can talk underwater.

Sanjuro: Yeah.

Mistral: C'mon guys! We gotta keep going! Hold on while I cast a little support magic! AP RUEM!

[Their water resistances have just been upped!]

Sanjuro: That's f***ing cool! Oops! I just forgot that one of us is under 18...

Kite: Meh, I heard worse cursing from BlackRose.

[Remembers...]

BlackRose [swearing up a storm]: YOU MOTHER-F***ING SON OF A BITCH! I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR **** AND F***ING DEVOUR THEM WHOLE AS I MAKE YOU EAT YOUR S*** AND F***ING MAKE YOU SUFFER!!

Kite: Um, BlackRose, it's just a Spark Maiden...

[Logs back]

Kite: I saw her verbally kill that monster... I don't even think that's possible.

Sanjuro: Shall we just keep going? All this water is **really** making me gotta go to the john.

Mistral: Yeah, me too.

[They then advance onward, and... we'll come back to them later]

--

[Marlo, Rachel, and Wiseman immediately come back from their trip to 'GIFT Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground', their clothes/armor all ripped up, and body areas bleeding]

Marlo [heavy breathing and wheezing]: Well, that was stupid of us to do.

Rachel: Yeah... *wheeze* that was, like, dumb.

Wiseman: I think I have blood in my stool... I guess we deserved to get our asses trounced in a **Level 194** area...

Marlo: This _can't_ get any worse, now can it?

[A Beheviathan {a large sea serpent} (9188/9188HP; Water-element; Physical resistance) teleports right behind them]

Rachel [aggravated]: You had to f***ing say something, didn't ya Marlo?

Wiseman [knowing that he's going to die]: There are people who will avenge us...

[The three of them are gone and the Beheviathan disappears as well. And where are said people? THEY'RE ALL NAKED AT THE TWILIGHT HOT SPRINGS!]

Piros [turns out that without all that pretty bulky armor, he's a skinny little man]: Ah... These hot springs are just what the Net Doctor prescribed.

BlackRose [covering]: I wish they had put up a divider so that the males and females could be separate… but yeah, this is pretty good.

Balmung [gating in, naked, into the Hot Spring alongside Orca]: I don't know… I like bathing with both genders in the same place. Shows they have no childish fears. [Looks at Orca] Are you okay?

Orca [face of anguish]: I think I gated in on a pointy rock, and it does NOT feel good!

Piros: Hey BlackRose, where's your little brother?

[Said Wavemaster pops out of the water]

Kazu [disappointed]: There are no other females to look at in this place…

BlackRose [suddenly angry]: SO YOU WERE PEEPING AT ME, YOU SICK LITTLE BASTARD!? 

[The angered Heavy Blade suddenly tackles the Wavemaster into the water; lots of bubbles are rising to the surface]

Piros: I only wish I still had a sibling to do that!

[Nuke Usagimaru finally finishes falling, and lands right in the Hot Springs… naked]

Nuke Usagimaru [hair soaked down to his face]: Hi there.

Piros: How wondrous of you to join us, he of pink spikes! Would you like a towel?

Nuke Usagimaru: Yeah sure! All that arctic air ripped my clothes up and chilled me!

Balmung [confused; making a conscious effort to keep his wings above water]: I don't get it. You're still here.

Nuke Usagimaru: HAHA! You're so dumb, Balmy! You confused 'chilled' with 'killed'!

Balmung [hiding the fact that Nuke was right]: Um, impossible! How dare you insult **Balmung of the Azure Sky**!

Orca [still in pain]: I'm gonna go to the sauna now… [Gets up out of the water; holds his tushie as he dashes to the digital sauna]

Piros: Wait… my dear friend Nuke; didn't you have a weapon with you?

Nuke Usagimaru: Hey! Where **is** my Ultimate Spear!?

[Nuke, Balmung, and Piros look up to see the falling Ultimate Spear dive (blade first, mind you) into the water; Luckily, Nuke and Piros move out of the way in the nick of time… but the feverish bubbles stopped coming up and a pair of '9999' damage markers appear; the bodies of the two siblings rise up, face down in the water, before disappearing, and confirming 'Game Over' for those two]

Nuke Usagimaru [dread]: Oh, they're gonna kill me, aren't they?

Balmung: Yes.

Piros: So I suggest you run! [Spies the newly-respawned characters glaring at Nuke; Nuke starts am-scraying] RUN LIKE THE WIND, HE OF PINK SPIKES!

[Marlo, Wiseman, and Rachel gate in to the Springs]

Marlo [eying the semi-blood-tainted water]: Alright! It's like someone stabbed Mr. Bubbles!! [Splashes Rachel] Heads up!

Rachel: AUGH! F*** OFF, MARLO!

Wiseman: Ooh… this is nice… [Pain-filled face] I gated in on a pointy rock, didn't I?

Balmung: Welcome to Orca's world.

--

[Back to Mimiru and Tsukasa; the Grunty is now about to become an adult]

Grunty the Kid: Mother, I'm hungry.

Tsukasa: Well, whaddaya want?

Grunty the Kid: I wanna eat Immature Eggs! They grow in all sorts of dungeons!

Mimiru: Well, now what do you want to do?

[Tsukasa reaches her hand down to her robes and pulls out an Immature Egg]

Tsukasa [VERY weak smile]: Here you go, little guy.

[The Grunty wolfs down the Egg; It is transforming into an adult!]

Grunty: RIBBIT!

[It has become a Poison Grunty]

Poison Grunty: Mistress, I want to thank you for making me an adult. Why doesn't anyone like me? Why am I alone?

Tsukasa [eyes start to tear up]: I CAN RELATE TO YOU! [Hugs the Grunty]

Poison Grunty: Someone likes me, Mistress?

Tsukasa [voice barely audible because of babbling and abused female/male Wavemaster]: Mimiru likes you, Grunty! I like you, Grunty! I FEEL YOUR PAIN! [Continues to cry]

Mimiru: Hey, calm down Tsukasa. [Thinking of something] Do you wanna come over to my house tonight?

Tsukasa: Okay… [Looks at the Grunty] I'll see you tomorrow Grunty.

Poison Grunty: Goodbye, Mistress.

[Tsukasa and Mimiru log out; in the distance]

Elk [near tears himself]: That was so beautiful Mia!

Mia: It was… 

Elk: But anyway, why don't we go hunting for some Aromatic Grass?

Mia: I don't know anymore… Ever since I found out I was the sixth Phase of the Wave and a glitch in the system, I lost my interest in the Aromatic Grass, Elk.

Elk: Aww, that means I'll have to tell my Aromatic Grass Association that today won't do then.

Mia: You have an Aromatic Grass Club? [Walks closer to Elk; sultry cat-like voice] That's so mature of you. You've really grown up.

[Without Elk even reacting, Mia pounces on him, and… well… I think you know what happens here]

--

[Back to the Chaos Gate of Bandai Sowa; Kite, Mistral, and Sanjuro finally gate out of the dungeon; like the others (Except for Gardenia, Natsume, and Ryoko; they got killed), their clothes are all torn up and the like]

Sanjuro: Wow… that was some ride.

Mistral: You're telling me!

Kite: I'm hurt all over… [Falls on his ass]

Sanjuro: Well, I'm off for today. Then tomorrow, I'm heading for the hot springs! [Logs out]

Kite: Well, everything is fine, right Mistral-chan? [Looks at the Wavemaster, her clothes almost revealing her, um, *finer* parts] Mistral?

--

Well, see ya around next time!


End file.
